Essays

Warning
Another Warning
Statement of Principle
Mutual Respect
Coming Out
Atheism 101
Assertive Atheism
Ten Commandments
Atheist in America
Christian Nation
The Other Christian God
God Endorses Cloning
Everyone Is An Atheist
Evolution
Faithcraft
Full Realization Atheism
Jesus Was A Horse Thief
Jesus Was A Human
Public Prayer
Size Counts
Islam
A Secular Pledge
Judgment Cometh
The Slocum Tirade
Pascal's Wager
Dover Decision Abbreviated
The Brilliance of Jefferson
The Brilliance of Madison
Barker Tears A New One
Gastrich Responds

Affirmations of Humanism
Frequently Asked
Glossary

God Endorses Cloning


Adam upon learning that he
would be getting a girlfriend

Eve was a clone. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

First, God created Adam. In His own image. From dirt. Actually, since we contain so much water, it seems fair to assume that he made us from mud. Like adobe.

Being created in God's image begs some very interesting questions. What did God need with a penis? Or an anus? Or lungs or hair or toenails or teeth? But I digress.

After creating Adam, God performed mouth to nose resuscitation on Adam, got him up and walking around, and with barely enough time to get oriented or get settled in, God immediately put him to work as a gardner - for a million square miles of the the Middle East - and as a zoologist tasked with the naming of all the animals.

Then God apparently decided that the garden was too much of a sausage fest with just guys around. So, he decided to create a female human for which, unlike the male, he had no pattern - "image" - to work with.

It seems evident that the male was a prototype because, instead of using the same lowly mud, God took a tissue sample from Adam and cloned Eve. God could've used more dirt and magic but decided instead to use medical techniques, surgery and cloning, which Humans have only recently developed.

Now you are probably saying, Hey, a clone has to be the same gender as the original, and when Humans clone animals, that is the case. But God had just built a functioning man out of mud so building a functioning woman from a legitimate tissue sample doesn't seem like much of a stretch. In any case, the bible indicates that God abandoned the dirt-based model after only one copy. All subsequent humans spring from Eve, the clone.

I think this is a divine endorsement of cloning. I also think that if you read the bible cover to cover, you will not find a hint of prohibition against cloning. Not a mention, not a commandment, not a parable, not a verse. We are, biblically speaking, good to go on Human cloning.

BTW, the entire sequence of events described above took one day. "The morning and the evening were the sixth day"

Or not.